Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Budget 2016

Salaam. :)

These are some of the ways that i have thought of to minimize our daily expenditure.
However I have a feeling that my train of thought is faster in Malay today.
So the rest of the writing will be in Malay for today. ;)

Memandangkan hampir semua tambang dah naik semenjak dua menjak ni, rakyat, terutamanya yang berpendapatan sederhana dan rendah sangat terkesan dengan perubahan ni, maka tercetuslah ilham untuk entri kali ini, yang lebih praktikal untuk pelajar universiti.

Jangan berhenti berdoa agar keadaan Malaysia jauh daripada perkara2 yang dilaknat Allah SWT.
Jangan berhenti berdoa agar keadaan Malaysia aman sentiasa, jauh dari rasuah, pecah amanah dsb.

Namun berdoa sahaja takkan cukup.
Berdoa tanpa usaha takkan pernah berhasil.
Usahalah. Kurangkan perbelanjaan, setakat mana yang kita mampu.
Siapa sangka, mungkin dari perbelanjaan yang serba sederhana ini, hidup kita lebih bermakna? ;)

Antara cara-cara untuk mengubah kadar perbelanjaan anda ke tahap yang lebih sederhana:-

1. Puasa sunat pada hari Isnin dan Khamis dan berbuka di masjid
Jangan letakkan ibadah ini dengan niat untuk menjimatkan kos. Lakukan ia seikhlas yang mungkin. Mungkin pada peringkat awal, anda lihat ia sebagai sesuatu yang anda terpaksa lakukan. Lama kelamaan, mungkin anda akan terbiasa, dan merasa kekok untuk makan tengahari pada hari Isnin dan Khamis. Dengan berbuka di masjid juga, anda akan mendapat pahala mengimarahkan masjid.
Doakan untuk mereka yang telah menginfaqkan harta mereka untuk memberi anda makanan untuk berbuka puasa. "Ya Allah Berilah berkat apa yang Engkau rezekikan kepada mereka, ampunilah dan belas kasihanilah mereka." HR Muslim.
Tanamkan niat untuk menjadi seorang yang memberi makan suatu hari nanti. Tidakkah anda mahukan orang untuk mendoakan anda dan pahala memberi makan kepada orang yang berpuasa? :)

2. Letakkan had perbelanjaan anda.
Sebagai contoh: Had perbelanjaan untuk makan seorang pelajar universiti = sehari RM5.
Sediakan serunding, kicap dan telur untuk dimakan dengan nasi.
Beli nasi, lauk ayam/ikan & sayur di kedai makan 1 Malaysia = RM4. Asingkan nasi dgn lauk, dan ambil nasi yang mencukupi untuk menampung anda untuk makan tengahari dan malam.Alternative yg lebih baik: masak nasi. Namun jika anda sibuk, alternatif nasi bungkus mungkin lebih baik untuk anda.
Alternatif 1: 
Tengahari: separuh nasi yg dibungkus & semua lauk yg dibeli
Malam : separuh lagi nasi yg dibungkus & serunding+kicap

Alternatif 2:
Tengahari : separuh nasi yg dibungkus & separuh lauk yg dibeli (pastikan lauk yg xmudah basi)
Malam : separuh lagi nasi yg dibungkus & separuh lagi lauk yg dibeli

Jika digabungkan langkah 1 & 2, perbelanjaan anda berjaya dikurangkan kepada RM20 seminggu.

3. Ambil sarapan
Percayakah anda, bahawa anda akan lebih berbelanja jika anda lapar?
Dan alternatif untuk tidak makan untuk berjimat itu sebenarnya membuat anda lebih banyak berbelanja?
Jadi cadangan saya: bersahur pada hari isnin & khamis & ambil sarapan pada hari yang anda tidak berpuasa. Ketepikan sedikit sahaja lagi duit untuk beli cereal, roti dan mungkin minuman 3in1 sebulan sekali yang boleh memberikan anda tenaga yang secukupnya.

4. Berikan ganjaran pada diri
Untuk menghalang diri dari digoda oleh godaan-godaan makanan mahal yang sentiasa memaparkan iklannya bukanlah mudah. Berikan ganjaran pada diri anda, mungkin pada awalnya sebulan sekali, semakin berkurang kepada dua-tiga bulan sekali dan akhirnya mugkin sekali atau dua kali setahun dengan apa-apa yang anda inginkan dan mampu. Lama kelamaan, dengan izin Allah, mungkin nafsu anda untuk membazir dapat dibendung. :)

#langkah 2 boleh digantikan dengan memasak di rumah. Ia lebih menjimatkan dengan syarat lauk yang dimasak sekadar cukup untuk bilangan orang yang akan memakannya.

Elakkan pembaziran.
Bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

inferiority complex.


there'll always be a time
when all over sudden
you feel like everyone is undermining you

just because you're not pretty enough
just because you're not tall enough
just because your clothes are not pretty enough
just because you don't have a high cgpa like some other people

but then again
it might just be all in you head
the feeling of being inferior to everyone else
and feeling that they are all looking down upon you
whereas it is just a hunch
or hasutan syaiton

Saturday, August 29, 2015

here it comes

assalamualaikum. :)

at the end of last semester, I made a list of things that I have to go through before I start my final year.
a loooong list of things that would take about 4 months to cross out.

but as day passes by,
one by one, those things get crossed off the list.
in fact the second last thing had to change at the last minute :
from Menara Optometry to S.L.Chan Optometry.
before I knew it, 4 months has passed, and only one thing is left on the list:


when I look back, I'll go like, "wow it's been 3 years, huh?"
then I'll go, "oh no, it's all coming to an end"

looking back at the photographs of all the days spent with all of my classmates made me realize how much we've all grew.

I know it's going to be a tough year.
but I know it will all be worth it, to have that scroll in my hands.

all the best Opto Gen 9.
here's our Final year, InshaAllah.
let's go through it.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

prove what you're worth.

Assalamualaikum. :)

"CGPA 3.5 does not equate genius while CGPA 2.0 does not equate idiot. They are just numbers until you prove your worth in life" - Chuah Kee Man.
This tweet went viral on the night of result announcement. Well I'm not agreeing to this tweet to say that I'm a genius eventhough my CGPA is still below 3.0 by 0.003 points. -__-" But you see, although some people are able to be on the Dean's list throughout their whole degree life, does not mean the others who are unable to are less worthy.

Some people, like me, are less capable of expressing ourselves on exam papers but are not as bad when it comes to applying the knowledge practically.

I'd recommend to all of you who are taking up medical science, and are still OK with Korean dramas to watch Emergency Couple. If you ask me, I don't watch dramas or movies that often. But when I do, I can watch the same one over and over till I memorize the scripts. And I'll add a movie/drama on my list of memorized shows usually because there are parts of the movies that I can relate with my own life, and the one that I can get enough lessons from.

In the story, the main character played by Song Jihyo from Runningman went through tough times in her journey of becoming a doctor. Even from the beginning of her journey, she was told off by people, even the ones that she once loved that she will never make it as a doctor. Even the chief asked her to quit on the first day because she had bad grades in her medical school and came from a not-so-famous university. All the people in her group looked down on her and shunned her off from joining them around.

Despite all that, she managed to prove herself and became one of the best interns in the department, and even became the chief's favourite intern. She proved herself when nobody thought she could. She made her hard and long journey worth it. "You can only be hurt by people when you allow yourself to feel so".

I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. And also remember that the lecturers scold you when you screw up, to make you better. So don't screw up. Learn from your mistake. And don't try to be better than others, but be better than who you were yesterday.

yukendudis. :P

Saturday, January 24, 2015

a glimpse of responsibility.


inshaAllah, if all goes well, i will be graduating in 18 months' time.
just another 3 semesters to go.
and i bet it will go so fast.

graduating means the end of degree life,
and the beginning of the real life.
whether or not i continue my studies doesn't really make any difference.
'coz commitments has already been made by then.

i got carried away with "planning the future" in my head this evening.
i started looking up online about car loans and house loans.
and talked about it with my mother as well.
well, she is my best friend. of course i talk to her about everything.
planning it alone would be impossible.
what do i know about the world outside?

of course i didn't leave him out on this.
he will be a part of it anyway.
and the house should, and will be under both our names.
paying it together half and half.

to be honest,
we talk about marriage more than about the wedding.
'coz we both agree on having the simplest wedding that both our parents allow.
but since both of us are the eldest and i am the only daughter and he is the only son and most probably a simple wedding is not going to happen. haha.
but we have this concept of "preparing for the marriage more than the wedding" since the wedding will only be just for 2-3 days whereas the marriage is for a lifetime and hereafter, inshaAllah.

although people say that money won't buy happiness,
but not earning and not managing money well will only cause the opposite of happiness in this materialistic world.
so i guess planning out the financial plan from now does not bring any harm.
i believe that planning ahead makes me more focused and determined to achieve a certain goal.

i am still in a dilemma about when i should continue my studies.
to be honest, i'd love to just continue on with my Masters Degree and PhD right away.
but my parent's current financial status makes me think twice.
hopefully things would change in the near future.

nevertheless, we can only plan.
yet He is the best planner, and His plans are always the best.

Thursday, January 1, 2015



it's been TWO YEARS since i wrote anything in this blog..
i did say to myself a few weeks ago to start writing again in 2015..
so..... what to write ey?

well something that i learned on the last day of 2014 is:
failure is not that bad if you learn something from it..

yesterday was a day when my whole class had to take a practical exam,
whereby we had to spend 2 hours alone with the patient and our lecturer..
and we were observed like being under a microscope by these supervisors..

to be honest, i've been dreading the day throughout the whole semester..
i kept on practicing with the fear of failing,
of not being able of finishing the chain of tests in time..
not realizing the real essence behind the test:
it's about experience, not about failing..

well i got my wish..
i finished way before the time was up..
but i didn't do one part of the test right..
but i was amazed with the way i reacted to that situation:
i was glad with the experience..

we were so used to being exposed to patients with not so bad abnormalities..
but these patients made us realize that real life will not be that easy..
real patients will not come to the clinic without abnormalities..
and you as an optometrist have to be prepared to deal with it..
and the lecturers are not going to take it easy with you..

i told my mother about being scolded by the lecturers in the clinic next semester..
she said "then make sure you won't be scolded.. be good, then they won't scold you.."

every bad thing that happens to you have a reason,
learn from it..
make sure it won't happen again..

happy new year.
make a change..

Thursday, August 1, 2013



about a month ago, i got back in contact with my schoolmate from SMK Sultan Sulaiman..
she and i were close at first, but something came in our way,
and broke our friendship apart..
even when i moved to another school, i didn't say goodbye to her..
for 5 years, we could see each other commenting on our schoolmates' FB..
but none of us had the guts to say hi till now..
she's now studying in Egypt.. & is now back for the holidays..
but when she got back, she posted a picture of a grave..
and from the blurred picture, i guessed out a name, but didn't want to believe it..
it is her cousin's grave.. my ex's sister..

my heart sank..
she must've been around our age..
so i started to look for answers.. and found out she died of asthma..
another kick to the gut..
to make it worse, she was an IIUM law graduate..
and passed away a few weeks after she graduated..

when i saw the video that her cousins made for her,
i couldn't hold back my tears when i saw the picture of both her parents and her during her graduation..
all of them was so happy, she was so happy, not knowing that that was her last present for her parents.. gosh, i'm still crying now..

i never knew her..
i only know her cousin & brother..
but i'm not so sure why, i could feel sad when i think of her..

and now every time my breathing gets tight,
i don't wait for long to get my inhaler like i used to..
and it scares me to death realizing that my asthma is getting worse..
and his asthma is getting worse too..
and the possibility of me having an asthmatic child is up to the roof..
and i start to overthink about everything once again..

to lose a loved one..
to be honest, it takes time for me to get better when my cat died..
i still regret not being okay with an estranged teammate & still can't believe that he's dead..
and it took me a week to finally cry and accepted the fact that an uncle who took care of me had passed away..
that's only an owner losing a cat.. knowing someone who has died.. a niece losing an uncle..
i'm sure it is nothing compared to cousins losing another..
a brother losing a sister..
and worse, a parent losing a child..

i have this saying..
we children, dread the day when our parents are going to leave us forever.. but we know, whether we want it or not, it will come one day..
but parents, have programmed in their minds that their children will outlive them.. they don't plan to attend their child's funeral.. :'(
kullu nafsin zaaikatul maut.. every soul shall have the taste of death..
and we can't plan when or where or how we leave the surface of the Earth..

al-Fatihah to her.. and him.. and him..

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

sudden gush of missing-ness..

salaam.. :)
believe it or not, it has been 3 years since i've set foot on the UIA grounds..
and suddenly, i just miss those who were with me back in the first semester in PJ..
the very first semester..
most of us are still close till now eventhough some are half way around the world.. :')
alhamdulillah.. the friendship remains..

where are all of us now?
SHAF : Dudenin, New Zealand, TIQA : Kuantan (radiography), SYAZA : Gombak (law), ZUE : Kuantan (optometry), NISA : Kuantan (pharmacy), SYIKIN : Kuantan (biomed), WANI : Kuantan (physiotherapy), IRFANAH : Kuantan (dentistry), AMIRA : Kuantan (physiotherapy), MARIYYA : Kuantan (radiography), NADIAH : Kuantan (optometry), SAFIYYAH : Kuantan (pharmacy), SYAHEERA : Kuantan (physiotherapy), PN RUZANNA : Kuantan (dietetics), ADYANI : Kuantan (Medic), PIEJA : Kuantan (dentistry), AFIQAH : Kuantan (dentistry), ADIA : IJN (Nursing)

NAUFAL : Alexandria, Egypt (medic), LUQMAN : Kuantan (radiography), SYAMIR : Kuantan (physiotherapy), FATHULLAH : Alexandria, Egypt (medic), SYAHIR : Kuantan (nursing), AMIR : Kuantan (medic)

eventhough most of us are still here in Kuantan, but we barely see each other unless if we have the same class once in a while or like Zue and I, where both of us are taking up optometry.. :)
time flies.. insyaAllah we'll graduate together soon..

Saturday, July 6, 2013

my babies..

salaam.. :)

i've had many cats and raised many kittens before..
but these four are special..
because..i was there when they were born..
really there..
their mother asked for my help when she was in labour..
but i ignored her at first..
because she, named Princess has always been the noisy whiny one..haha
until my dad accidentally stepped on her blood and saw the first kitten on the floor, still and with the placenta in tact..
i felt so guilty for ignoring her..she was actually asking for help..
then i put Princess in a box, looked for a clean disposable 50cent pen knife in my dad's drawer and cut the first kitten's umbilical cord, and helped her with her labour..
after 10 minutes, came the 2nd one..then the 3rd..and finally the 4th.. :)
the first photo is the four of them at 1 day old..

and then them now, at about 1 month old..according to birth order..
1: mittens
2: butang
3: miyagi
4: tigger

Thursday, July 4, 2013

love despite the flaws..

one day when we're finally married..
and seeing each oter 24hours a day at home at first may bring out the worst in us..
much worse than whatever we're facing now..
we might agree on hundreds of things but disagree on thousands..
we might hate what each of us wear and disagree on more things..
we might despice our behaviour that we haven't even seen before..
we might get tired from work and take it out on each other..
we might have sensitive moments where the sight of each other could make us feel mad..
we might need some time away from each other to create some space for one to miss the other a bit more..
and many other mights that can happen..
but one thing im sure of..we'll always find a way back to each other.. :) coz ur my husbad..n im ur wife..n that's what we do..

Saturday, June 29, 2013

keeping the relationship alive..

salaam.. :)

i know i have no experience in  married life..
but i have been observing many couples, mostly from my own family..
and when i observe, i tend to take lessons from it..
with hopes that when i get married, i won't do the same mistakes or i'll put in my head the ways of keeping the relationship alive and well.. ;)

heyyy.. don't corrupt your mind by thinking that i'm talking about sex..
yeahh i assume it's a big part of a married couple's life..
but a wise bird once said to me that communiction outside the bedroom is what determines the satisfactions in thw bedroom..
in other words, great sex doesn't ensure good relationships but great relationships could lead to great sex..

andd.... marriage isn't all about sex..
it's all about communication..
a cousin of mine has a great ability of relating with everyone and for sure her husband..
she communicates well by stating whatever that is wrong in someone in a well mannered way and complimenting whenever that person has made it right..

admit it.. not everyone's advice or comment about you can be accepted.. especially if he/she gave it to you in a hard way..
and for sure you could accept complimenta and would most likely repeat the thing that u did..

lately i've been wondering..
how those married couple can live for years together..
especially the old ones who have been living together all of their lives..
then i see my cousin who could smile as if they're still dating when he sees his wife.. whereas they have been married for almost 19years..

like every other thing..
not everyone's love story has a happy ending..
it's sad seeing those who u have known even before they were married and find out one day that they are now divorced..
but He has His plans..

eventhough i dont have a clue how my love life is going to end, no matter how it is, i always remind myself that it's the best for me..
i'll always try to keep the relationship alive in any way i can..
but at the end of the day, i have to let the Big Boss run His plans.. :)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


salaam.. :)

for those who are unsure, doppelganger is German for look-alike..
and according to the Malay folk-lore, a person has 7 doppelgangers..
haha.. and they say if you've found all 7 of them you most likely are going to die..
haha.. and that's just bonkers.. don't believe that..

for some people, they define doppelgangers as those who LOOK alike..
well for me, in order for another person to qualify as a doppelganger to a person i know, he/she must at least show some other similar traits..
for instance if my friend is funny, his/her doppelganger must be funny,
or at least laugh like my friend..
or at least smile like my friend..
or at least wears glasses like my friend..

so far if someone else says that i look like so and so,
my so-called-doppelganger either have to look exactly like me,
or i admit it first..
haha.. whenever i say "no, she doesn't look like me at all!"
they'll just say "it's because you don't look at yourself as much as we do..

true dat!
you DON'T look at yourself that much..
unless you look at a mirror all the time or you appear on TV all the time and watch all the programs that you were in.. :P

here's a picture of Ben from Masterchef Australia (left) who i think looks so much like my taekwon-Do coach (right) .. :D kan banep kan?

and this second picture is of someone who i don't know, but had a hard time to convince my parents that she's not me.. especially when compared to this picture of me..

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

post-result syndrome..

salaam.. :)

if you have many friends on facebook from IIUM,
or you yourself are from IIUM,
for sure you'll know that IIUM released the final exam results to the students..

the results reflect your effort throughout the whole semester..
staying up almost throughout the night enable me to read some status of people from many aspects..
i mean like people who obtained results that satisfy them..
or those who are okay with it even if it's not that awesome.. *like me*
or people who think that they could've done better..
or the ones who have regrets either about their results, or assignments or their attendance..
or their relationship with lecturers..

among all statuses, one captured my attention..

*right in my face* haha.. the subjects that i didnt put my heart n soul into are the ones (only ones) that i managed to get A's.. hmm..

so sit back, analyze yourself, where n what u did wrong in the previous semester and try not to repeat them in the next semester.. i'm actually telling myself all this.. huhu..

p/s : alhamdulillah i dont have to repeat any subject this semester.. :)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

turn over..

salaam.. :)

alhamdulillah i am given the chance to live such a wonderful day..
the day started off with an early than usual morning since i spent the night at huda's..
then continued studying ocular anatomy..
sat for the exam at 2.30-4.30pm..

frustrated for not being able to answer as well as i wanted it to be..

but then my mood turned around when his mother texted,
asking if she could take me out for dinner tonight..
and i agreed..
so we went out..
had dinner..
felt ;like being a family..
having siblings..
a feeling that i never had before..

and i feel happy now..

"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" :P

Sunday, May 26, 2013

a little glimpse of the future..

salaam.. :)

i know it's been a while since i wrote anything here..
but~~~~ i'm not telling why..
i don't have the time coz it's going to be sooooo long.. hihi

today's the first paper of my final exams of this semester..
fortunate enough, the whole group of optometry students from 1st till 4th year took the exam at the same time..
well obviously not the same paper..

but just now, while i was drifting off trying to figure out the answer to the question,
i looked to my right and just watched my final year seniors finishing their paper..
theirs finished first compared to the other 3 younger batches..
they are counting their papers towards graduation..
towards ending their degree studies..
and here i am, still in the first year, just beginning..
answering the most basic papers of my whole course..
and there they are, where i'm going to be in 3 years' time, if God wills..

hopefully that time will come..
i hope everything will go well from now on..

5 more papers to go~!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

what now?

salaam.. :)

it's been more than 6 months since i've stepped on these grounds..
this campus which i call 2nd home..

nevertheless, things haven't been easier..
being busy with taekwondo meant that i won't be here during the weekends..
which means i have less time with my roommates, and even my classmates..
no, i don't skip class all the time because of it..
no time with roomates because i don't stick around in my room for long..
no time with classmates because i won't be around during weekends when they have outdoor activities of some sort..

i don't feel like i'm even part of the class..
they won't even bother to ask.... *can't say it*
even my seat has been taken over..
i wonder if they even remember my name..

i'm tired thinking of it..
i've two things to focus on now : midsem exams & 1st series of MASUM..
not them..
enough of thinking of their feelings..
"coz i'm the only one that's trying to keep us together.."

if i'm not talking to you guys anymore..
it's coz i know i never existed..

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

there's a first time for everything..

salam.. :)

alhamdulillah, i've gone through the first semester..

i failed a subject..
functional biochemistry..
i'll have to repeat it..

it has caused my gpa to be lower than what i aimed it to be..
since it's the first time for me repeating a subject,
it's.. erm, unsatisfying in a way..
coz you know that you should've done better..

but it's in the past now..
nothing can change it..
but you can still change how you accept it,
and how you plan to spend the next semester..

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

pre-results syndrome..

salam.. :)

results for the first final exams of my degree life will be out in 8 minutes..
my heart has been creating irregular heartbeats for the past 2 hours..
feet cold and sweaty..
hands numb and cold and sweaty..
mind unable to concentrate..

Ya Allah, please make me be strong to accept whatever it is that You have fixed for me..

Sunday, January 27, 2013

one more week to go..

Salam.. :)

the holidays has reached its last week..
results will be out in less than 72 hours..

feelings? *biting all nails on body*
yes, it's that bad..
i'm so scared of failing..
but hey, if failing is what He has wrote for me,
then be it.. it's the best for me..

"And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you
and that you like a thing which is bad for you..
Allah knows but you do not know" (al-Baqarah : 216)

then back to "school" on Sunday..
lectures will start on Monday..
and so second semester begins..

Monday, January 14, 2013

first medal..

salam.. :)

my friend from primary school uploaded these old photos..
i can't help but laugh to see myself back in those days..
it's been 9 years, huh?
my first two gold medals..
state level..
or was it schools from the whole state level?
i'm not so sure..
but i got a gold medal for individual pattern (poomsae)
and another for mix team pattern (poomsae)..
still with the green belt & GTF dobok.. (im the first on the left) -__-"

 with the whole team.. i only remember a few of them.. -__-"

performing as mix team.. and we won!! :D

i never expected to win that day.. i went there to enjoy and gain experience..
nowadays, we play to win..
im not saying that it's bad..
sometimes, we play so hard to win, that we forget to enjoy it as well..

sad that there was no podium of some sort..
and i don't feel like going through boxes to find the medals..
those were the days.. ;)

Friday, January 11, 2013

people behind the scenes..

salam.. :)

i've been spending my holidays in a very productive way *i think*
so far by watching national geographic and making my own calendar.. :)
the calendar is almost half way done!! \(")/

ok, as i was watching this show "How Do They Do It?"
one part of it showed about those people who were in charge of
controlling the flow of airplanes flying in and out of the Hong Kong airport..
back when my dad was working with Malaysian Helicopter Services (MHS)
back in Kerteh, a friend of his, Uncle Din works as the tower monitor (i think that's what they call his job).. the one who controls the "traffic" flow of both helicopters and airplanes..
if he messes up, there is a huge chance that a plane crash just might occur..
that shows how important his job is..
but who gets all the fame and glamour of flying an airplane?
none other than the handsome and macho pilots..
no no.. i don't have any grudges on pilots or anything..
it's just that, the air traffic controllers have responsibilities as crucial
as the pilots do.. but only the pilots are shined in the lime-lights..
whereas if the air traffic controllers gave wrong or no commands at all,
the pilots might just be lost and flying aimlessly..

same goes as in the movie-making industries..
the people behind the scenes are just as important as the movie stars..
the only difference is, they are not as exposed and well-known..

just a random thought.. ;)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

heading HOME! :D

salam.. :)

my first final exams in my degree life is over!!

now don't even think of reminding me that the results will be out in 21 days -__-"

the last paper was fine..
the perfect way to end this semester..

now: thinking of packing..
heheh, coz i haven't even started yet.. :P
no, not that i'm not looking forward to go back..
i've never felt homesick before till the tension of final exams in degree life came along..
but i'm still embracing the time, and feel the freedom of being here without having to study..

FAQ when people see me..
"knapa tak balik? kan rumah dekat?"
yeaa.. but then i'll get tired and my mood to study just can go *poof!*
besides, i call my mum everyday so i don't think not going home that often will make me be left behind about anything..
absence makes the heart grows fonder..
less is more.. ;) less going back = appreciate it more..

plan now?
list of things to accomplish..
hopefully it will materialize.. FOR ONCE..
heheh.. or maybe just sleeping should be on the list?
oooo.. i have to cook! :O
it's been like ages since i stepped into a kitchen..

i think i have to stop now..
maybe my head is still on its essay writing mode..

to those who still have papers,
to those who are already done, like me,
and to you, cik buden..
take care and see you when i see you.. ;)

Monday, January 7, 2013

one more..

salam.. :)
and so.. after more than two weeks of brain-cramping activities,
the semester is finally coming to an end..
one more paper to go..
both for him.. and for me..

all the best to all..

Sunday, January 6, 2013

the start and the end of something..

salam.. :)
it's the 6th day of the new year, 2013..
the start of a whole new year, a whole 365 days ahead of us, inshaAllah..
but sadly, this month is also the end of my first semester here in Kuantan..
haha.. i was still with my "i'm still new here" phrase..
but before i knew it, it's already been more than 3 months..
the first lectures have already been more than 16 weeks ago..
geez.. where did all those time go?
the end of something also marks the beginning of something else..
the end of 2012, marks the start of 2013..
the end of this semester brings the start of another one..
and also the long awaited 3-week holiday.. :p

i just finished my second-last paper at 11.30 am just now?
comments? overall : frustrating..
not to Him or to the lecturers who made those questions
in a "kind" and "answerable" way..
but frustrated with myself..
i'd have to admit.. i took things lightly this sem..
i thought i could do it.. but i couldn't..

and now all i could think of is calculating my carry marks,
how much i need to at least pass..
and see if i still stand a chance.. -__-" sad, huh?

what happened?
---> time spent unwisely..
that was what happened..


crying over something that happened in the past won't change it..
but crying due to struggling for something in the future is worth it..

conclusion :
leave all those regrets about the past papers behind..
LIVE WITH IT! it's done..
now what? ALL OUT for your last paper..
prove to YOURSELF that you've learnt your lesson..

Saturday, December 29, 2012

end of 2012..

memandangkan esok ada exam optics lepas tu lusa ada exam islamic worldview,
aku menganggarkan yang aku xkn ada kesempatan untuk update blog ni esok..
so mcm xbes la kan, xleh update blog pada hari terakhir of the year 2012..

pada sesiapa yang friends dgn aku kt fb bkmungkinan besar dah baca status aku yg ni :

ye, aku xsangka byk tu org like..
haha.. mmgla xsame mcm gmbar amir & siraj & umar..
but still~ :D

bila aku fikir,
tak ramai yg kat luar tu terdedah kepada soalan2 mcm ni..
kita, manusia ni.. bila xde trigger, x tercetus lah the thought tu kan..
so, ramai ke yang terfikir pasal ni?
aku rasa, kalau aku xde kat uia ni, aku pun xrelate pasal physio dgn islamic perspective..

otak yg duk fikir pasal optics esok ni,
mcm xde idea yg nak mengarang sangat..
so maaflah,
karya terakhir bagi tahun ini tersangatlah hambar..

buat bbudak uia semua,,
selamat menempuhi peperiksaan akhir semester..
jangan buat kerja gila..
darah manis selain daripada masa nak kawen adalah masa exam..
heheh #TheorySendiri

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

the call..

ingat tak dalam entry ni aku ada mention about how afraid i am to leave my phone?

terpaksa mengaku..
kkdg, bila terasa hati yang teramat sangat,
aku off phone.. tapi xsampai 3 minit pun..
sebab, aku terfikir..
kalau pape jadi kat mak ayah aku? kat dia?
then ada org yg nak call aku sbb nak inform aku..
tapi aku off phone hanya sbb terasa hati..
tak ke.... hm..

tapi aku terfikir jugak..
kalau aku dalam bahaya..
when i am in need of someone..
will that person answer my call?

sometimes when you're so hurt,
you tend to think of yourself..
you forget all those around you..
whether they called just to say hi..
or called just in time for the last goodbye..

you'll never know when your time will come..
or when their time comes..
appreciate.. appreciate.. appreciate..
coz you'll never know..
if the call that you just missed..
just might be the last..
he got lucky.. coz he had the chance to go back in time and make things right.. ;)

Monday, December 24, 2012

and it strikes again..

ever since th 18th of November 2012..
an incident happened between my parents and i..
that made me put aside my wish to be his wife..
not cancel, delay..
nothing bad happened, really..
i just never thought of it before..
the feeling of letting go their only child..
but i'll never stop praying..
that He'll open their hearts one day..
and realize that the email i sent them wasn't meant to hurt their feelings..
not at all..

it's been raining outside..
there was a knock on the door..
oh, kak teah.. :)
i went to her room earlier to send the notes that i photocopied..
i noticed that she was folding her wedding invites on her bed..
she did mention that she'll drop by my room to give it to me when she's done..
and there she was, walking from the door, with a glow on her face..
handing to each and every one of my roommates and i her wedding invitation..
when she walked out, everyone thanked her for dropping by..
and we all cheered and counted the number of wedding cards
with our names written on it as the main guest.. :)
syera then called us to the main "hall" to snap a photo of all our cards..
hehe.. excited huh?

then the room became silent again..
i did picture my name the wedding card..
eh.. OUR names.. haha.. :P

while surfing fb n twitter, checking the flood condition in uia n kuantan..
i decided to watch maria elena's wedding video..
ahhh.. TT.TT
then the feeling strikes back..
coz they're soooo relaxed with each other..
and, so @.@ together too..
but then there were parts that shows, despite all the craziness,
they love each other so much.. :')

it'll pass.. for sure.. huhu

Sunday, December 23, 2012

first final exam..

tanggal 21 disember 2012..
berakhirlah sudah tempoh pengajian 15 minggu bagi semester ini..
last class of the sem with Dr. Mohd Zulfaezal Che Azemin..
our Optics lecturer..

as a token of appreciation for all our lecturers,
all of us made a card for each and every one of them
that has taught us this semester..
and yes, haha.. card ni pun utk dr zul kesayangan.. :D
tapi ada je gmbar untuk lecturer2 lain..
isi kandungan dia sama je.. sbb tu pilih untuk letak satu je..
especially yg nak bagi kat cikgu chow..
siap tulis in BM tuu.. haha..
berdebat jugak lah dgn para classmates sbb nak make sure eh,
untuk memastikan penggunaan tatabahasa yang betul.. :P

sangat terharu bila tengok muka lecturers yang senyum bila dapat kad ni..
especially dr. tijani yang almost mcm nak nangis bila kitorg bagi..
:') usaha n penat lelah stay up smpai kul 3 pagi nak siapkan 10 kad ni
memang berbaloi.. 

berikut merupakan tarikh examku n semua students optometry 1st year :
28/12 : Human Structure & Function 1
30/12 : Optics
31/12 : Islamic Worldview
2/1  : Development Psychology
5/1  : Bahasa Melayu Kerjaya
6/1  : Functional Biochemistry
8/1  : Healthcare Management & Administration

study week bakal bermula esok..
tapi bbudak opto n diet ada presentation untuk islamic perspective subject biochem..
haha.. aku presenter.. -__-" ttbe jadi nervous balik.. haish..

pape pun, buat semua mahasiswa/mahasiswi UIAM,
selamat menduduki peperiksaan akhir semester..
semoga usaha anda diberkati Allah SWT..
*ucapan diatas tidak termasuk pelajar Medic & Dentistry sbb dorg dah lama habis exam*
ni untuk family opto..
ini kami semua masa majlis makan2 n solat hajat a.k.a OptoIkhtiar..
ye, kami semua sangat hyper.. haha

please pray for me, for us..
this exam marks the beginning of our degree life..

Friday, December 14, 2012

second last week, sem 1 year 1..

busyness makes us so occupied till the time just passed by like...
this week was really3 fast..
i kept using this phrase ever since, forever,
but this time i really mean it..
i could still smell the living room in my grandparents' house back in ipoh..
but now it's been almost a week since i left that place..
it's friday, and before you know it, it's friday again..gosh..

monday : woke up late, lab at 2pm, islamic worldview at 5..
tuesday : woke up late again, missed BM lectures, then visited a batch-mate in the ICU..
wednesday : arrived late for physiology class at 3pm.. islamic worldview at 5..
thursday : last PBL session at 12pm.. last BM mass lecture at 2.30pm..
friday : optics at 8.30 am.. and last healthcare management lecture at 2.30pm..

my timetable has already reached the last page..
so has my calendar..
i wanted to mark the dates for my final exams *not talking about it*..
and some of it is in January..
then, only then i realized..
it's not in the calendar..
not only the semester is coming to an end, so is the year 2012..

it's only been 10 days since i turned 20..
but alhamdulillah, i was still given the chance to see another day..
9th December 2012..
a student from UIA Gombak died in an accident here at Sg. Ular..
a friend of his who was on the motorcycle with him was the one i visited in the ICU..
he was still unconscious when i visited him with yin and his friends..
but sadiq updated that he's awake now, alhamdulillah..
eventhough i never knew both of them,
the thought that a guy, my age, is no longer in this world really made me ponder..
will i live another day?
will the people around me live another day?

i've been having these dreams,
where my phone rings and someone tells me that someone i know met with an accident..
random callers with random victims..
once in a while, the victims are people who i care the most..
my mum, dad, him, huda, pieja, luqman..
thinking of it is enough to make my heart race..

i won't leave my phone behind..
i won't put my phone on silent..
i won't even let it out of my sight..
i won't drive..
i get worried easily when he doesn't answer my calls..
sorry, dear..

i worry a lot..
i think too much..
i exaggerate..
but that's me..

take care..
live well..
hakuna matata..

Thursday, December 6, 2012


ye, aku sangat penat..
penat.. rimas.. lemas..
penat menjaga hati orang lain sampaikan aku sendiri rasa sangat lemas..
sampaikan aku turut menjadi plastik, sama seperti mereka..

bila mereka semua menyatakan yang aku ni bermasalah,
tak cukup ceria.
tak cukup mesra.
aku tertanya2...
habistu aku sentiasa tersengih bagai kerang busuk tu, ertinya apa?

ya, mungkin cara aku kasar..
tapi percayalah,
itu aku..
kalau aku bercakap lembut,
mahukah anda, sekiranya aku menjadi plastik?

sejak kebelakangan ni, aku sering sakit..
aku tak mahu belas kasihan anda semua..
itu perkara terakhir yang aku inginkan..
cuma, apabila anda memikirkan bahawa aku pura2 sakit,
hakikat itu mengguris hati aku..
andai anda semua tahu betapa peritnya sakit itu..

nak tahu sesuatu tak?
anda semua telah mengambil keceriaan aku,
sedikit demi sedikit..
anda mengambil kebahagiaan aku..
anda merampas kebolehan aku untuk terus senyum..
anda telah membuat aku tak tidur malam,
tak senang duduk,
terus tertanya2,
apa salah aku?
apa lagi yang aku salah buat?
apa lagi yang boleh aku buat untuk ubah semua ni?

aku penat.. aku sangat penat..
penat menjadi antara yang terasing..
penat jugak sebab selalu terasa padahal benda tu sangatlah remeh..
mungkin hormon aku yang makin tak stabil?

ye, lihat pengaruh anda?
anda semua berjaya membuat aku sendiri sentiasa mencari kesalahan diri.
tahniah dan terimakasih saya ucapkan..

buat pengetahuan anda semua,
pada mulanya, saya sangat berbahagia kerana mendapat anda2 sebagai rakan *****..
tapi sayangnya, cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan..
hanya kerana satu kesalahanku,
anda2 terus menghukum kesemua benda yang aku buat..
benar kata2 orang..
pabila seseorang itu melakukan kesalahan,
hanya kesalahannyalah yang akan terserlah,
kebaikannya? habis kabur, hilang bagai tidak pernah wujud..

mungkin efek demam dan hakikat aku menulis ini pada jam 3.25 pagi
membuatkan bakat sasterawan negara yang terpendam kembali mekar..
ya.. mungkin..

nasihat buat diri sendiri:
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..
mungkin ini salah satu musibah yang boleh menjadikan hari2 bakal mendatang lebih mudah?
mungkin juga ini satu permulaan persahabatan yang lebih erat daripada biasa?

Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Wadud.. Alirkan secebis kasih dan cintaMu kepada kami se***** agar dapat kami melaksanakan amanahMu.. Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Jami', satukan hati2 kami semua dengan kasih sayangMu agar dapat kami sayang menyayang, tolong menolong, pimpin memimpin dan hormat menghormati..

amin, Ya Rabbal 'Alamiin..